a different morning
I know I'm getting older all the time, but I just feel really young. There are a lot of people who would say "yeah, right... you're 23, you are really young." But I mean really young... A lot of times I feel like I'm still 16 or 17. Maybe 17. I don't have that "Yes! This is the first time I'm allowed to drive by myself!" feeling anymore. I know that I do things that people who are older than that do. I got married. I have a career. People are always asking me when I'm going to have a baby. These aren't things that people in high school do or have to deal with.
But I still feel young. I think about the world like everything could change tomorrow. Most likely it won't. I get up and have breakfast while I make our lunches. Then we go to work. I come home in the evenings and make dinner and go grocery shopping. We talk about buying a house, and make plans for vacations. But underneath all that, I think... what if this was all different. What if I woke up tomorrow a single girl living in a high-rise apartment in New York... or a young, pregnant, stay-at-home mother of three... or a starving musician, trying to scrape together enough cash for my next heroin fix? None of these are very likely. In reality, they're less than unlikely -- I just wouldn't do those things. But there's still that little thing inside of me that thinks...
What if I woke up as someone else?
But I still feel young. I think about the world like everything could change tomorrow. Most likely it won't. I get up and have breakfast while I make our lunches. Then we go to work. I come home in the evenings and make dinner and go grocery shopping. We talk about buying a house, and make plans for vacations. But underneath all that, I think... what if this was all different. What if I woke up tomorrow a single girl living in a high-rise apartment in New York... or a young, pregnant, stay-at-home mother of three... or a starving musician, trying to scrape together enough cash for my next heroin fix? None of these are very likely. In reality, they're less than unlikely -- I just wouldn't do those things. But there's still that little thing inside of me that thinks...
What if I woke up as someone else?
posted by Vanessa Clark @ 8:53 PM
1 Comments:
At 8:39 AM,
Anonymous said…
I know exactly what you mean. And I feel the youngest when I'm with you (but that's more like 5 or 6)! It's great though to be able to let go and not take life too seriously. I have people in my life that would watch us together and totally sneer at our humor and even our sanity. But I just want to tell them "you're not your f***ing khakis!" Inside I sneer back at their pretention and greive for their confinement.
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